Something sweet about you
by Kishu Aonabi Shindara
Summary: A simple "reader insert" about you as a child and sweet little Butters.


(Warning: contains strong language. And capslock abuse.)

There was something indescribably sweet about Butters you could not even tell.

Was it his innocence ? His cheerfulness ? His happy-go-lucky persona ? His clumsiness ? His loneliness ? Or was it this smile he was putting on your face when he was looking at you ?

You used to look at him from afar. Well, you weren't in the same class. But you did see him during the break. Usually he would hang out with this group of boys...

"Hey, friends, can I play with you today ?  
-FUCK OFF, BUTTERS, YOU TRISOMIC ASSHOLE !  
-Oh, okay !"

Or randomly being pushed around like this by his classmates. And despite being rejected, he would always smile so shyly.

And you too, you were too shy. Too shy to ask him to play with you. So you just looked at him leaving the playground or joining another group of kids.

The first time you actually talked to him was awkward, and you remembered perfectly this fatal encounter. It was happening by the school lockers in the hallway – there was this obnoxious, fat boy – Eric Cartman, was it ? – and Butters was standing there too. The other kid was swearing a lot and calling him names as usual. Since nothing seemed new, you opened your own locker and looked for your notes for next class.  
Suddenly, you heard a loud sound and a plaintive cry. You immediately turned toward the origin of the noise; this is when your heart sank – Eric had drawn a baseball bat out of the blue and started to beat the poor kid's face.  
You did not think twice. You ran to the scene and, ignoring the assailant's insults, you did the first thing that came to your mind – you kicked his crotch with your knee. His face turned white; he dropped the baseball bat and fell to the ground, nearly crying not from the pain, but rather from the shock.

"What... the... fucking... FUCK !? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, DUMBASS ! YOU CASTRATED ME !  
-Shut up, you jerk ! You just got what you deserved ! Stop hurting this kid, he didn't do anything wrong !  
-Instead of playing the super-heroes I've got a better idea for ya – WHAT DON'T YOU MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS AND GO FUCK YOUR- Fucking hell son of a bitch this hurts so fucking much !", He whined.

Your blood was boiling, but you had done enough. You grabbed Butters' hand and took him away from this horrible little prick.

"H-hey...", he stuttered. You ignored his calls as well as Cartman's cries and shouts all over the hallway. You arrived in front of the counselor's office.

"Listen, you have to report this jerk to Mister Mackey !  
-B-but why would I do that ?  
-Because he hit you with a baseball bat, that's why !  
-But... he and I were just playing a game..."

You froze. _A game_ ? What kind of kids would play such a game !?

"Stop pulling my leg, I saw him hitting you for real ! You're even bleeding !  
-Well, he said my head has the perfect shape of a baseball so he would give it a blow with his brand new bat !", He replied, scratching it.  
"But that guy was rude !  
-Y-yeah... but... I mean, you kicked him in the nuts, oh boy, I would be so mad at you too if you did that to me. That was not too cool..."

You stared at him helplessly and dumbfounded by this revelation. That poor, poor kid. Couldn't he tell the difference between game and abuse ? That was when you realized you had kept his hand in yours all this time. A blush crept on your face as you let it go, ashamed. You thought you had saved his life but now he was telling you you were wrong and what you did was bad !

"I-I see ! Then, sorry for interrupting your stupid friend's freaky game !", You retorted angrily.  
"W-wait, I...", He started, but you just went your own way without paying attention to him anymore. You were now back to your usual self: the quiet, shy pupil who was to blame for speaking your mind.

You felt stupid after that. You wished you could have forgotten everything about it and go back to this time when the both of you had never spoken to each other before.

Later that day, you were sitting alone at the cafeteria – your best friend had moved to another town three days ago so you had to deal with this constraint loneliness period. At the opposite of the room was Eric Cartman – man, how furiously he was staring at you. You knew he was swearing and cursing you from the deepest part of his soul (though you doubted he had a soul). You noticed he was pointing at you to show his other friends sitting next to him – Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Tweak, Clyde, Token and Craig if you remembered correctly. You knew they were also peeking at you from time to time, but you pretended you did not see and did not care. You made a mistake, right. You hoped Cartman would not avenge himself by poisoning your food.

"Oh, hi !", Someone told you from behind. You recognized the blond-haired boy. "It's me, Butters ! You know, we spoke earlier today !  
-Ah... h-hello, Butters.", You said, embarrassed.  
"Can I sit here ?  
-Uh, sure.  
-Great, thanks friend !"  
Butters sat to your right and wished you to "enjoy your meal", although you were already done. "By the way, I didn't ask for your name !  
"My name is _ _ _.  
-Wow, that's a pretty cool name !  
-Thanks.  
-Do you always eat alone ?  
-No, just for three days already, after my best friend left Colorado.  
-Oh hamburgers, that's really not cool !  
-Well, yeah, that sucks.", you paused for a second before asking "Is 'Butters' your real name ?  
-Of course not, my real name's Leopold but nobody here uses it. My parents call me Butters all the time as well.  
-Why do people call you 'Butters' ?  
-Uh, I don't know... I should ask them !"  
-So, what's your surname ?  
-Stotch."  
You giggled as everything made sense, eventually. You exclaimed with apparent joy : "Butters Stotch ! What a funny pun !  
-Eh, what ? What pun ?  
-Well... your nickname and your surname... Butters Stotch !  
-... So what ?  
-Haven't you noticed it yet ?  
-Noticed what ?"

Somehow it made you laugh even more. He was so clueless. Butters was obviously confused by your reaction but the fact you were mocking his ingenuousness did not offend him in any way. He smiled softly:  
"Hey, _ _ _, I think you're a very nice person. Also...", he twiddled his fingers. "I know I didn't tell you so please don't be mad at me, but thanks for helping me today. Honestly, that game wasn't really funny and it kinda hurt pretty bad... though I guess it was also painful for Eric to be kicked in the nuts, I feel sorry for him too... but somehow I'm thankful you did it because he seemed to suffer a lot. Though I probably shouldn't say that... uh..."

You smiled gracefully despite the latest remark about his classmate. At least he admitted he did not enjoy the so-called game. You proposed : "Say, Butters, maybe you'd like to play with me tomorrow ? I know a lot of games.  
"Shoot ! Really ? Yes, I'd like to hear what games you know ! Do we have to fight each other ? Like punch you in the nose and kick your kneecaps ?  
-N-not at all...  
-And do we throw pebbles at cars and if a driver gets angry you blame it all on me ?  
-What, no !  
-Oh, so, do we have to lock someone into a locker all night and if the dude didn't manage to break through the following day we tie him head down and naked to the flagpole and throw balls at his stomach until he pukes ?  
-Holy Mother of... no, Butters, I don't play such dangerous games !"  
Butters looked at you in awe, as if he couldn't believe what he was listening. He whispered : "Sweet Jesus... I can't believe there are different kinds of games besides the ones I told you about, sounds fun ! I can't wait to play with you !  
-Butters... I'm starting to get worried...  
-Oh no ! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad !  
-No, what I had in mind was... look at Eric overthere."

Cartman was frowning at the scene: his face was red of anger and his mouth wide open, as if he was about to die from apoplexy watching you and Butters chatting to each other so carelessly and obviously enjoying it so much. His other friends were now looking at you two, surprised and amused at the same time. Suddenly Cartman burst out into a great rage and screamed: "BUTTERS, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS !".

Following this day you and Butters became good friends. You later introduced him to some of your classmates but he definitely remained your closest friend. After that you met his group of friends but Cartman hated you with all his might, so you were pretty much allowed to hang out with the boys only when Eric was away. Eventually the majority of them surprisingly agreed to Butters' demand to let you join their role-playing activity and became a knight under Butters' care (actually you wanted to be a wizard but Eric vehemently refused). He taught you how to make a powerful armor out of tinfoil and clothes and how to fight using a weapon.

You had so much fun together. He literally enjoyed everything. Sometimes you wondered if he was only acting polite or just being afraid to disappoint you, but you realized after spending more time with him that he was just a person who was never hard to please. He even thanked you after every recreation break for playing with him. One day you told him :

"Maybe I should be the one thanking you I guess, since my best friend is gone I haven't played much with the other kids of my class and it gets pretty boring sometimes.  
-You're very welcom ! But still, thank you for lending me your toys and being so nice to me ! I'm grateful !"

Most probably Butters was mentioning the fact you had never attempted to hurt him since the two of you had met and started playing together. It was certainly what had surprised him the most in you. How you never tried to pull a prank on him. How you never mocked him or told nasty jokes. How you never lied or abused his kindness and affection. How you accepted him the way he was and never let him down, although he knew he lacked the guts to talk back to his friends when they were mean to you. How you used to protect him from the other kids' bullying when you witnessed it, and never hesitated to face them.

Somehow, your friendship had taught the both of you the true meaning of 'confidence'.

Sometimes it made him ashamed and sad to think he was weak. Sometimes this attitude of yours towards him made him suspect your good intention. Kids had never acted that way before. What if you were faking ? Would you betray your friendship any soon ? However Butters would pull himself together and scold himself "Why are you thinking like this ? Giv more trust ! Why am I so stupid to doubt a friend ? I should be grounded for this... oh yes, I should punish myself for a week. Wait what am I saying !?" before slapping himself randomly in the middle of the class.

"Butters, what the HELL is wrong with you !?", Stan whispered with bewilderment.  
"I'm just grounding myself !  
-Holy shit.", Kyle replied in shock.  
"That's because he's day-dreaming about being _ _ _'s bitch, that's why.", Eric added.  
"I'm not _ _ _'s bitch, we're best friends.", He opposed. "Seriously, why do you hat so much ? Are you jealous or something because I don't hang out with you fellas as much as before ? I mean at school, otherwise I'm still your loyal Paladin Butters the Merciful when we play with the Stick of Truth.  
-If you think I'm jealous of this FUCKING LITTLE PUSSY WHO CAN'T EVEN HOLD A SPEAR YOU'RE UTTERLY WRONG, ASSHOLE !  
-Eric, how many times have I told you not to yell in class and insult your classmates ? You'll be in detention today.  
-WHAT ! But Mister Garrison I didn't do anything, Butters made me do it, he's the one who must be grounded, not me !  
-Hey ! What did I do to you ?  
-SCREW YOU BUTTERS ! I'M GONNA FACEBOOK YOUR DAD AND TELL HIM HOW BAD YOU ARE FOR TRAPING YOUR CLASSMATE IN DETENTION, I HOPE YOU'LL BE GROUNDED FOREVER !", the boy screamed with indignation.

Butters liked his boy friends very much. They shared tons of fun and so many adventures together. But it was different with you. He thought he couldn't have found someone better and closer to his ideals of friendship.

Sometimes, he was actually happy someone cared enough about him to stand for him.

No other kid before had ever patted his back like you did or stroked his hair to congratulate him when he won the game. No other kid had ever brought him those nice yellow candies you had everyday ("Look, these are butterscotch candies !" "Aww, for me, really ? Thank you so much..." "But, you get it, right ? The joke ?" "What joke ?" "Butters, are you kidding me..."). You were the first, besides his parents, to call him "Leopold" from time to time, when you made this serious face of yours – "Leopold, we need to talk."

Sometimes that would scare him. That feeling. That you could be driven away from him for a reason or another. That you may wish some day to go back to your old classmates. To leave him for someone else.

"Oh boy, hum, hi _ _ _, you wanna talk to m-me ?  
-Of course I want to talk ! Kyle just warned me that Eric hid firecrackers in your bag this morning and you were sent to the infirmary because you had your fingers burnt. Are you alright ?  
-A-aah, yeah everything's fine now, I don't feel my fingers anymore ! Which is... probably not that good I guess, though... I'm sure my parents are gonna ground me for a week or two..."

You took his hands to have a look at the bandages. The contact of your hands on his made Butters blush imperceptibly. "Hmm.", You paused. "I imagine you can't write anything wounded like this. If you want I can copy my notes and give them to you. After all we follow the same school programme so it shouldn't be a big deal for you, right ? You're a good pupil after all.  
-What, y-you would copy your notes for me ?  
-Yes, I will ! So don't look so down, cheer up !"

Butters smiled. For sure he wasn't sad anymore when you were around, and the pain in his hands felt less terrible after that. This bitter feeling he had in his heart seemed to vanish little by little everyday too. His world seemed sweeter in your presence.

You were very special and he couldn not get enough of you. Because over the past months, you had become his very best friend.

There was something sweet about him you could not tell. Maybe it was the smell of the sweets you brought him ? It suited him. Or was it the sweet scent of this flower he offered you one day, when you where walking back home together ? You made a book-mark out of it and there was a nostalgic scent now all over your books.

Sweet little Butters. He really loved to help. He looked always happier to help than the one being helped.  
One day you had forgotten your History book. You mentioned this to him and he instantly brought you his exemplary. After class he waited for you and asked if that actually helped. You approved and he immediately began to jump and dance, singing : "Yeah ! Hurray ! It helped you ! I did a good thing today !". His joy was so contagious you even started to jump and laugh yourself. (at this very moment Eric, Kyle, Stan and Kenny happened to walk this way; the fat boy looked down at you in disgust, whispering something like "Oh mah God, that's so gay.")

You were living next door so it was easy to get to each other's house and draw pictures or play with dolls and figures, invent new sceneries, situations and games. Or to be together.

That day you were both at Butters'. It was raining outside so you had no other solution than staying at home. Butters' parents were now pretty much used to have you around in their house because you apparently had a "positive effect" on their son – you prevented him from doing mischiefs and being a weirdo (you had no idea what they were blaming him for). You were now playing "truth or dare".

"Truth or dare, Butters ?  
-This time I'll dare to say 'dare' !", the little boy replied enthusiastically. You laughed happily and pondered, what could you suggest him to do ?

You really wanted to give him a daring challenge. Something you had never done before. You realized what you had never forced him to do anything for you. After all you were friends, weren't you ? Your relationship was based on respect and truth. It would not be right to take advantage of it to get what you wanted the most from him.

You liked him so, so much. You had never felt this way before but somehow it felt right. And good. Warm and sweet.

You wanted to hold his hands more often. Not just touching or examining them. You had never forgotten this feeling you had when you held his hand in yours, the first time. Maybe that was what you could suggest him: take your hand ? No, you said you wanted something daring.

"Oh, I know, I've just came with something !  
-Please, please _ _ _, tell me, tell me !  
-Um...", you began, a light shade of pink blooming of your cheeks. "Kiss me."  
"Yeah oka– w-wait, w-w-what !?", Butters flailed his arms hysterically. "K-k-kiss you !?"

You nodded shyly and the little boy's face turned redder than a poppy. He started to twiddle his fingers.

"B-but I-I mean, h-how and w-where should I... kiss you ?  
-I-I don't know ! W-wherever you want on the face is fine !..."

How were you supposed to know, you were nearly ten and had never been kissed before. Except by your parents but that did not count. More of that your parents were rarely showing any physical affection in front of you and you remembered asking them once : "When and how do people kiss ?". Your mother replied "Honey, you don't _do_ it, you _feel_ it. You feel when it is the right time and the right person. Why, is it about your lover ?" "H-he's not my lover... we're just friends" "Oh, Honey, but little Butters is so adorable, me and your dad would be so glad to see you two dating, when you get older." "Mom, come on..."

Why did you ask that ? What if he rejected you ? You were pretty sure he would not because it was part of the game and also he would not make you feel sad. What if after that he said "I don't want to play anymore." and refused to talk to you ever again ? No, it would not happen, he was way too nice to completely ignore you but it would never be the same... Why was Butters so sweet ? Why was he always the same kind little boy to anybody ? How could you know if you were any different from the other kids ? If _he_ considered you _different_.

Maybe you could only this time – just for once – take advantage of him ? Tell him "those are the rules of the game" ? Your mind refused, but your heart wanted to.

"So hum, _ _ _, s-should it be romantic ? Like in a movie ? Fancy ? Not too fancy ? Eskimo kiss ? Quick, long, w-w-with the tongue, without it ? – Jesus Mary and Joseph, please ask me without it I haven't been prepared for this kind of kiss yet..."

Then you saw him staring at you with confusion and hesitation and that depressed you.

"Leopold, just... kiss me and then we're done with this game, I'm going home."

Butters twitched when he heard his real name. Shaking a little bit, he quickly leant towards you and gave you a gentle kiss on the cheek, close to your lips. It was short but it made you incredibly happy inside. He finally broke the silence.

"H-how was it ?  
-G-good. I kinda liked it.  
-I kinda liked it too...", he confessed. Butters was still sitting close to you and none of you were moving, as the carpet had suddenly become interesting to observe. He continued. "So, do you still want to go home, _ _ _ ?  
-It's stopped raining. I should probably return home soon, yes.  
-B-but it's my turn to ask you 'truth of dare'...  
-Fine, I'll go for a 'dare'."

Butters blushed and drew a long breath before telling you: "Kiss me... Please. M-maybe ? I-I mean i-if you want to... I don't mean to force you... e-even a kiss on the cheek is fine... Oh God I have no idea what I'm doing or saying...  
-C-calm down, I'm feeling exactly the same so stop stressing me out like that !"

You came closer and kissed him on the lips to keep him quiet. At the same moment his hand looked for yours and hold it strongly as to reassure him. It probably lasted for less than five seconds, you would never know, but you had finally understood what your mom had told you about kissing.

The both of you were smiling and chuckling with delight, unable to speak. After a minute or so, still holding hands, you went down the stairs and Butters brought you to your house. He shyly asked on the threshold: "S-so, _ _ _, does that mean we're now... d-dating ?  
-Yes, of course we are, if you accept to be my boyfriend !  
-And I gladly accept it !"

You kissed him on the cheek and closed the door. You ran to your bedroom to wave him goodbye by the window, from where you saw him singing happily and dancing crazily in the middle of the street. Your giggling made him notice your presence - he instantly froze and timidly waved you goodbye, before heading home.

There was something indescribably sweet about him. But it was not just 'something'.  
If you had to give a definition of 'sweetness', you would simply answer 'Butters'.


End file.
